Cribs and Responses

Well, today actually TWO people asked me why I had failed to update my blog since last Sunday. Understandably, I was quite flattered to know that some of you actually miss the drivel that I put out here. Yeah, I also know there could be other uncharitable and inane reasons for their asking me the question but I prefer to assume what I have and we shall leave it at that.

The reason that there has been a slight delay is actually quite simple. I had already decided what my next post was going to be about. I had planned for pictures of my new beanbag, my new camera, view from the window of my room, me in various stages of undress…oh yes, I had some plans. But I couldn’t transfer the photos from my Nikon Coolpix L3 to my adamant computer who refused to smile or say cheese. It seems I need to install some drivers since am stuck with an ancient operating system called Windows 98 (Okay you monitor, stop staring at me). I will probably figure that out this weekend so now I am left with the task of writing a blogpost.

Cribbing. Don’t we all love to do that? About work, weather, life or any other insane thing which catches us on the wrong side of our spiritual river. And I guess we all have our favorite person who gets the full benefit of our laments. In my case, it’s my poor mum. I’ve been thinking about it and my cribs generally elicit five types of reactions

1. The Laugh- Sometimes, my cribs happen to be funny, apparently. Like when she asks me about my day at office and I choose to tell her about my gym routine (my thoughtful company provides one) that day since that maybe the only thing of consequence I might have done that day.

2. The Silence- When she’s too engrossed in that soap on SONY in which this girl gets artificially inseminated by mistake in a hospital when the medical files of two patients get mixed up.

3. The Solution- I hate this. I don’t like anybody trying to solve my cribs. A ‘So what have you learnt from this experience?’ attempt makes me disappear into my room pronto.

4. The Agenda- Now this would be funny if it weren’t so bizarre. MY crib conversation is completely hijacked by what she would want me to do in my life. For eg.

Me: I have a bad throat.

Her: You shouldn’t have gone on your bike to office.(?)
Or
Her: You should say your prayers (??)
Or
Her: You take too long to eat your dinner (??)
Or
Her: You should stop drinking beer (??)
Or
Her: You should get married.(???)
Or
Her: You should buy a house. (????)

Me: Huh??

5. The Astrology Funda- This is my favorite. I don’t believe in it but the whole idea of all the moons, suns, and planets being responsible for all the troubles in my life is quite liberating. And she makes it all sound almost believable, what with all the technical jargon she throws into it. You see, my pimples are supposed to disappear from April 16, when the moon becomes retrogade and Mars moves into the 5th.

I love her.