Arjun Singh Zindabad!

Being sufficiently drunk and hydrated after drinking copious amounts of water, I have now decided to write my second general gyan post (The first one is a rant called ‘A Good First Impression’ written some time ago) on this blog.

Why? There’s an answer but I will slime and say, "Because I am dazed and confused, that’s why".

So what’s it going to be about? These are the candidate posts:

1. More than fifty people burnt alive in Meerut. There’s a huge potential for a rant there. But there’s a real danger of me ending up sounding insensitive. You know that’s why I hate crowds…oh..there you see…

2. Salman Khan sent to Jodhpur jail for five years for killing a black buck. Am sure I can think of some humorous ideas on this topic. Like if I were a desperate autograph hunter, you know where I would be likely to break a law now, don’t you?

3. Bangladesh seem to have Australia on the mat in a cricket test match! Is nothing sacred in the world nowadays?! I haven’t done a cricket post as yet, maybe its time for one?

4. Draft proposal on reservations for OBC at 27.5% taking the total reservation at all centrally funded educational institutions including the IITs and IIMs to 49.5%. It is reported that the general populace (forward/upper/general caste, what are we called??) will not suffer since the total number of seats at these prestigious institutions will also be increased proportionately.

Ok, so you are smart and have figured out that I have already decided what I am going to write about and all this nonsense above was just to buy time as I circle around the topic looking for an appropriate sneak in.

Before I launch into the thick of it, I will make the following assumptions against my better judgement:

1. The Honorable Minister Shri Arjun Singh is a very wise man.
2. He has a diligent and intelligent team of bureaucrats who have the interest of the nation at heart.
3. They have the data and reports with them prepared by eminent advisors, which recommend conclusively that this reservation policy will go a long way to alleviate the situation of the downtrodden.

Ok, so why have I made these nonsensical assumptions? Though I would like to say that this would help me to argue the true merits of the case, you know that the real reason is because by doing this I reduce the scope of discussion and make my own job (post) easier (smaller).

But for whatever it is worth I have the following to suggest to the Honorable Minister.

1. Sir, please check your OBC list again. The other day, a gentleman on TV said that there are more than 3500 castes in the list. Even affluent communities like the Lingayats of Karnataka and the Nairs of Kerala are included in it. I am sure you want to avoid the embarrassing situation where an investigation from Aaj Tak/Indian Express/Outlook finds one day that while 75% of the Open Category students have to finance their studies at IIMs via loans, only 25% of the reserved quota find it necessary to do so. And those too for tax exemption purposes. Request you plug in an income criterion which is credible enough to fulfil your noble intentions.

2. Sir, I hope the reservation policy doesn’t mean that people from such backgrounds would get a free entry into the hallowed educational institutions. I hope the cut-off percentages are relaxed and not done away with. For eg. How about a 90th percentile cut off for the IIMs? (I know something smells bad, that’s because I just pulled this number from my ass) I am sure you and your team with the help of the IIM boards and faculty could come up with a reasonable number as well, which will ensure that these guys won’t flunk the course.

3. Sir, it is said that seats will be increased so that the open category students are not affected. I must congratulate you on your wisdom here sir. Only a far thinking person could have come up with this idea. But as you must be aware, more students mean more requirements on infrastructure. More hostels, more classrooms and more quality faculty. I hope you will give the IIM and IIT boards sufficient time (two to five years) to ramp up. Lots of clearances required from your own ministry, you see.

4. Sir, and finally, it is my humble request to give a waiver of two years to the IIMs and four years to the IITs from this policy while they are ramping up their infrastructure. This will also give your ministry enough time to track the success of the policy in other centrally funded educational institutions and document the stellar performance of disadvantaged students when they are provided the right opportunity. This will help you to counter all those contorted allegations from the elite educated IIT/IIM minority (really, twits they are) and the partisan English media.

At you service sir, always.